[ Well, that's all nice and good, but he's still face down in the snow. Cassian scowls and struggles to force his limpid body into an upright position. The wet and cold has seeped into his uniform by now, and he's shivering. ]
She's mean. But she took me home. But she wouldn't bring me to you! I told you I have to lick you. [ He huffs. ] She said no.
[Ugh. Okay, that looks pitiful. Kay is going to regret this, he just knows it, but instincts are stronger than his common sense. He kneels down and effortlessly lips up Cassian, bridal style.]
How is that even when you are not you, you still do the same annoying things? why that obsession with licking me?
Cassian gives him a wide-eyed look, or as wide-eyed as he can in his current state. ]
You're comfy.
[ More comfy than the ground, anyway. Just as an experiment, he decides to cuddle against Kay's chest. And that puts metal right in front of his face. Lots of metal. Of whose lickability he has just been reminded by Kay. ]
And I'm not obsessed. I'm scientific.
[ And scientific spy that he is, he leans forward and licks Kay's shoulder...
...and tries to pull back from the icy-cold metal... tries being the important word. ]
[ Nope, not getting unstuck. Just getting himself more thoroughly stuck, it feels like, and even in his state of drunkenness he has too much common sense to yank hard, and risk hurting himself.
So all he can do is make angry noises and bang his fists - and one foot - against Kay's chest.
[ That earns him another growl, and one more particularly savage kick before Cassian goes still in defeat.
Yes, fighting makes it worse. Doesn't mean he has to be grateful about his defeat.
He is cold, miserable and now thoroughly humiliated as well. You can't expect him to be happy. But for now, he will suffer in silence. Not like he has much of a choice. ]
[Rude man! Next time Kay will leave him drunk and cold in the snow.
Any other time Kay would have been more considerate but now he just throws Cassian over his shoulder like a potato sack. Once they get inside the house, he all but drops him on the couch. ]
[ Cassian gives another growl of protest, being dumped so rudely when his mouth is still attached to Kay's shoulder isn't exactly pleasant, and he has to cling to him for dear life so his tongue doesn't end up yanked at.
And yet, for all his outrage, the only thing he can manage is another angry ]
GRMPF
[ Somehow, having made it into the house - and onto the couch with Kay! - doesn't feel like much of a victory. Even if it looks like they're making out to an uninformed observer.]
[Yeah well, Kay needs to lean over so much he's practically folded in two, this isn't fun for anyone involved.]
Yeha yeah...you know, I used to find your grunting attractive. Just, not like this. [What now, though?] Uhm...maybe once my frame heats up you will be able t pull your tongue away from me?
[You know what? this posture sucks, He's not comfortable leaning forward. Kay's hands reach out to grab Cassian's waist so he can switch their positions.
It's not an easy maneourver, or quick, but in the end Kay is sitting on the couch and Cassian is on his lap.]
Once he finds himself in his new position Cassian blinks owlishly up at Kay. Then he pointedly lets his hands drop to his chest and slide them down to his narrow waist and flaring hips.
You wanted to be straddled, you can deal with the handsy. Even if the muffled noises he makes as he tries to free his tongue aren't all that sexy.]
[The moving was necessary because he wanted to be comfortable.
Which is not happening because Cassian's hands are going to places they shouldn't. Kay lets out an indignant squeak and pokes him on the side.] Stop that!
[ Cassian still can't see what his rebel self thinks is so great about KX droids that he'd want one for a lover - it's loud and annoying and in dire need of a wipe, that's what it is! - so clearly this requires further investigation. It has to be some undiscovered fetish, it's the only explanation that makes sense. He doesn't do love, he doesn't have time for love.
Really hope you enjoy having clumsy, cold fingers in your joints, because right now you're having clumsy, cold fingers in your joints.
He frowns at the poke and tries to peer up at Kay's face. ] Whmpf?
I said 'stop that'. [Cassian really should focus more on the feelings parts. That's the way to understand why his normal self likes living with a droid.
Now, Kay reaches to grab Cassian's wrist because he can't obviously be trusted even when his tongue is stuck.] You're a pervert.
[ Too bad his indignant protest just isn't the same when his tongue is glued to Kay's chest. But speaking of that, the droid has warmed up a lot with his systems no longer battling against the icy outside temperatures.
Cassian makes another, as-careful-as-he-can-manage attempt to free himself, and wonder of wonders, his tongue actually comes loose without him losing any skin. He slumps in relief, giving a pained groan at his backache, and shoots Kay a glare now that he's finally in a position to do so. ]
I'm trying to understand, you stuck-up rust bucket!
[ His jaw drops in outrage and he rears back, looking absolutely outraged. He makes indignant noises and finally yanks back his hands, cradling them against his chest. ]
I so can get it up!
[ Sorry, not sorry. The cold has shocked some of the drunkenness out of him, but he's still not particularly coherent. ]
Hm...[Against common sense, Kay decides to be a little shit. because if Imperial!Cassian can ruin his night, he can do the same. A cold finger runs down the side of Cassian's cheek in a mock caress.]
Maybe it's worth figuring out for sure, darling...
[ His head jerks up and he gives Kay a wide-eyed look, just as gobsmacked as when he'd made that quip about considering a strap-on. Not that he has figured out it was a quip. ]
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[Wait that doesn't seem right.]
No, she's smart.
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She's mean. But she took me home. But she wouldn't bring me to you! I told you I have to lick you. [ He huffs. ] She said no.
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How is that even when you are not you, you still do the same annoying things? why that obsession with licking me?
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Cassian gives him a wide-eyed look, or as wide-eyed as he can in his current state. ]
You're comfy.
[ More comfy than the ground, anyway. Just as an experiment, he decides to cuddle against Kay's chest. And that puts metal right in front of his face. Lots of metal. Of whose lickability he has just been reminded by Kay. ]
And I'm not obsessed. I'm scientific.
[ And scientific spy that he is, he leans forward and licks Kay's shoulder...
...and tries to pull back from the icy-cold metal... tries being the important word. ]
HrmPF!!!
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[He's 7fot of hard metal, how is that comfy. Go home, Imperial!Cassian, you are drunk.
Wait, this is their home and Kay kicked him out. UHM.]
...
This can't be happening.
[When did his life turns so wrong?]
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[ Nope, not getting unstuck. Just getting himself more thoroughly stuck, it feels like, and even in his state of drunkenness he has too much common sense to yank hard, and risk hurting himself.
So all he can do is make angry noises and bang his fists - and one foot - against Kay's chest.
This. Is. All. The. Droid's. Fault. ]
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The more you move the worse it will be. And stick kicking my shins, karabast!
Ugh, I suppose we will have to move inside and see if we can unstuck you. [Because moving will be so easy now, right?]
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Yes, fighting makes it worse. Doesn't mean he has to be grateful about his defeat.
He is cold, miserable and now thoroughly humiliated as well. You can't expect him to be happy. But for now, he will suffer in silence. Not like he has much of a choice. ]
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Any other time Kay would have been more considerate but now he just throws Cassian over his shoulder like a potato sack. Once they get inside the house, he all but drops him on the couch. ]
Do not drool on the cushions.
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And yet, for all his outrage, the only thing he can manage is another angry ]
GRMPF
[ Somehow, having made it into the house - and onto the couch with Kay! - doesn't feel like much of a victory. Even if it looks like they're making out to an uninformed observer.]
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Yeha yeah...you know, I used to find your grunting attractive. Just, not like this. [What now, though?] Uhm...maybe once my frame heats up you will be able t pull your tongue away from me?
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So. Stuck here. At least he's warm, and he could swear that he can feel Kay's frame warming up, too, though it might just be wishful thinking.
Either way it's boring, so he pets his chest experimentally with clumsy fingers. ]
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[You know what? this posture sucks, He's not comfortable leaning forward. Kay's hands reach out to grab Cassian's waist so he can switch their positions.
It's not an easy maneourver, or quick, but in the end Kay is sitting on the couch and Cassian is on his lap.]
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Once he finds himself in his new position Cassian blinks owlishly up at Kay. Then he pointedly lets his hands drop to his chest and slide them down to his narrow waist and flaring hips.
You wanted to be straddled, you can deal with the handsy. Even if the muffled noises he makes as he tries to free his tongue aren't all that sexy.]
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Which is not happening because Cassian's hands are going to places they shouldn't. Kay lets out an indignant squeak and pokes him on the side.] Stop that!
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Really hope you enjoy having clumsy, cold fingers in your joints, because right now you're having clumsy, cold fingers in your joints.
He frowns at the poke and tries to peer up at Kay's face. ] Whmpf?
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Now, Kay reaches to grab Cassian's wrist because he can't obviously be trusted even when his tongue is stuck.] You're a pervert.
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[ Too bad his indignant protest just isn't the same when his tongue is glued to Kay's chest. But speaking of that, the droid has warmed up a lot with his systems no longer battling against the icy outside temperatures.
Cassian makes another, as-careful-as-he-can-manage attempt to free himself, and wonder of wonders, his tongue actually comes loose without him losing any skin. He slumps in relief, giving a pained groan at his backache, and shoots Kay a glare now that he's finally in a position to do so. ]
I'm trying to understand, you stuck-up rust bucket!
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Looks to me like you are trying to get to the third base you Slimy, Double-Crossing No-Wood Swindler!
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I so can get it up!
[ Sorry, not sorry. The cold has shocked some of the drunkenness out of him, but he's still not particularly coherent. ]
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I never questioned if you could. [He stares right into Cassian's eyes, then his optic lowers to his groin.] Or are you doubting yourself?
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[ But just in case, he looks down at his own groin and scrunches up his nose. Doubt is wriggling at the back of his mind. ]
I think I can. I don't know.
[ Can he find a robot sexy enough? ]
Other me can.
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Maybe it's worth figuring out for sure, darling...
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Uh...
That's what I wanted?
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Is it?
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