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[k2so]

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[k2so]

You did what? [Kay is not jealous, really, he isn't. This is not his Cassian, he can go around pushing other droid's buttons if he wants.

Except, NOT. He can't.]

So you aren't only a drunk disaster, you are also a cheater!!!

No, it is not. Except in this case. No going out with ladies tonight.

[captain_by_the_book]

But but shes taking me home!

She doesn't call me a disaster she's nicer than you i like her better

[ But K-2SO getting upset and jealous is kind of flattering. They don't even know another, but it's still kind of nice. As long as he doesn't think about it that K-2SO is only interested in the other him, anyway. ]

your mean and you like him betteer

[k2so]

Home where? Tell her you don't want to go with her!

That woman is only trying to sleep with you. You're drunk and not thinking clearly.

[He is not jealous! He is only...concerned. As any good citizen would be! Or so he would say.]

He doesn't call me a thing, or a tin can, or a machine. of course I like him better.

[captain_by_the_book]

Uhuh i think she wanfs me to sleep with her

[As in, he expects that she wants him to sleep at her place rather than dragging him all the way back to Everglade and his room at the Red House Foundation. ]

A not drunk just tisy

And you're a tin can but other me wants to kiss you maybe he really likes tin does it taste I wonder if it tastes like cocktail can i lick you?

[k2so]

In that case, she's going to end terribly disappointed. I pity her.

[Maybe Cassian should reword that a little better then.]

Tisy? ...you meant tipsy? How many drinks have did you have?

I don't...[Wait a second.]...you need to come here to lick me. But you are leaving with that mean woman.

[captain_by_the_book]

She said i can keep the vodka

[And she has no intention to keep that promise. There is so mucb disappointment waiting in his future. ]

I sleep with her and then i come lick you

[Look. Him using logic. He is so proud of himself. ]

I had fruity cocktails

[k2so]

See, another sign that she's a bad influence.

[If only Kay knew that they're talking about Dorothy. He would feel much more relieved.]

NO!

Sure, you only had that.

[captain_by_the_book]

And vodka and water and a sparkly drink

You want me to come and lick you but you don't even semd me nudes

[Which makes sense in his mind because he'd been thinking about how thry haven't even met in person yet. He only knows him from old video posts. That just got lost between his brain and his fingers. ]

[k2so]

Go figure. Mixing alcohol increases the risk of being hungover the next day in a 65%, tomorrow it's going to be fun for you.

I don't...WHAT? [asdkjhkda not even normal Cassian ever asked for that. Why is Kay burdened with this? What god did he anger?]

[captain_by_the_book]

[ Whatever deity looks out for Imperial officers. Have fun figuring out which one that could be. ]

Nudes

we never met

i just want to know how lickable you are

[k2so]

[One that has a weird sense of humor, that for sure.]

I never wear clothes so I am technically always naked.

[But he will indulge imperial Cassian and turn his replies to video.]

You are a very weird man now.

---> video

[captain_by_the_book]

[ It takes Cassian some fumbling to switch his own phone to video mode. Kay will be treated to the sight of him with his uniform rumpled and open at the collar, his eyes glassy from alcohol. ]

Heeey. This is nicer! No more fiddly buttons!

[ He grins, all proud of his discovery. Slurred speech, too. Someone's really on his best way to thoroughly smashed. ]

Whassit about? You want to show me the goods?

...I dun know what goods droids have.

video

[k2so]

[If Cassian were his normal self, that would be a very welcome view.]

You look terrible....but happy, I guess.

[Kay is sure that with the amount of alcohol in Cassian's blood, if he were to be set on fire his body would burn for 4 days straight.]

No! You wanted to see how I looked like, so there, wish granted. I'm not putting up a show for you.

[captain_by_the_book]

[ He scoffs, completely over the top in his melodrama. ]

I know what KX look like! I'm... I'm ISB! I have the blueprints! With all the... the... [ Cassian wriggles his fingers... and then goes off-track for a minute there while he looks in fascination at his fingers. Moving. Wow. ] All the tiny stuff.

I wanna see you.

[ Not that he has any idea what he expects to see of a droid. Just that he hopes to see something which would explain why his other self had gone and chosen to live his life with a very advanced security gadget. Because it's easier to think there's some secret appeal to his frame than to admit to himself that he has simply fallen in love. ]

[k2so]

The blueprints?

[Now, that catches his interest. If this version of Cassian has the knowledge about Kay's model, that would be helpful if he ever gets damage.] Do you have them memorizes? What my systems can do?

You need to come to my house for that, I'm not going to the bar.

[Kay is only agreeing to this to stop Cassian from leaving with a stranger woman in his drunken stupor.]

[captain_by_the_book]

I will!

[ He sounds far too happy about that for his own good, and nods eagerly. ]

After I've gone home with the lady.

[ Sorry, Kay, he's still stuck on that. ]

[k2so]

[skahdlkdsas CASSIAN, GDIT.]

FINE! Do whatever you want.

[And he's going to stop replying your text form now >:(]

nighttime, action

[captain_by_the_book]

[ After Dorothy has physically hauled him out of the Hangar Queen, she would have done well to sit on him. Or at least not trust him to show common sense. But who could guess that a drunken Cassian who can't find his own nose can find his way to Attleton, to a house he has never been to.

It's a gift he shares with his rebel counterpart - just barely functional enough while drunk to get himself into even bigger trouble.

So now he's stumbling across the yard, throwing snowballs at the windows and hollering his little heart out bellowing Kay's name.

Well, that is, he is making a nuisance of himself right until he activates one of the motion sensor-activated traps in the yard, and ends up face-down in the snow, momentarily immobilized by a stun gun. ]

[k2so]

[Kay doesn't sleep, therefore it isn’t as if he didn’t hear Cassian causing a ruckus to get his attention. He just decided to ignore it. That’s it, until he hears the zapping. It's very tempting to just leave the man outside to freeze, in pain, for being a moron. But he's still Cassian and Kay can't bring himself to do it.

However, he's also in no rush to free him and just walks outside to give him a very judgy stare.]

You really came. And what big entrance you did...

[captain_by_the_book]

[ His legs are still useless, the last zap had hit him right in the spine, but he can move enough to turn his head and glare at Kay, and weakly throw some snow in Kay's general direction. ]

Shut up. I'm here. You wanted me here.

[ And now he can't help feeling a little bit hurt by the underwhelming reception. It's irrational, he knows that, but everything is messed up tonight. ]

[k2so]

Did I?

[Kay being so tall and Cassian being at ground level means that the snow hits him mid-thigh at the highest. It was pretty pathetic but also sorta funny.]

Did your lady dump you? is that why you came? [So he might be a bit not!jealous.]

[captain_by_the_book]

She was mean. She broke my vodka. And she told me I'd hurt your feelings.

[ He makes an indignant noise at the back of his throat, and gives Kay a disgruntled look. ]

You've got to tell her I didn't!

[k2so]

She sounds smarter than I imagined. She knows me? What's her name?

[If she did all that, perhaps that woman isn't as bad as Kay thought.]

[captain_by_the_book]

Dorothy!

[ He gives Kay an offended look out of large brown eyes - unfocused now from alcohol. ]

She's mean.

[k2so]

Dorothy!? She was the one you wanted to sleep with?

[Wait that doesn't seem right.]

No, she's smart.